When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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