We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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