I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
