You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize