i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I wish there were birth control emojis
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
