I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
