Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
