So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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