im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
