remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
