capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
