Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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