If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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