I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize