He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
