So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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