girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So much Jack, so little girl.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
