Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
