You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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