problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize