We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
