Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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