cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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