He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
