my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
