Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
