I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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