I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
