yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize