the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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