I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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