It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
