So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
