i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
