I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
