Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
