Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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