I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
