just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
