Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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