Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
NoShamevember. You game?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
