I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
