I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
