There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize