Well douche your snatch and let's go!
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
