It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize