If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
