So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize