I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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