You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
