I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
