You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
