Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
