remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
