Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
it's great music for shaving your balls
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
