Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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