Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
That accounts for only three of the penises
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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