im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
