The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
