Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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