wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she looked like the before picture.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
