We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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