You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
