No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
