This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
