I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize