not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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