I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
