By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
